SamuelTan.com

I thought that things would change..

Promises are made and hope is given.

But all I have now are broken promises and contradicting actions purely out of selfishness.

I’m now numb and my feelings has turned lukewarm.

Wish there is an easy way to switch it all on again.

Another sleepless night tonight, I sit here and I wonder what to write about. There’s too much on my mind at one time that I can’t seem to find the right thing to say. I asked myself, what have become of me? Is all that I am today the doing and undoing by myself? I wonder, is what I’m doing now right for me? If it’s right for me, will it be right for others? Where can I search for my answer…

No point asking those questions now I guess what is done is done and cannot be undone. But what if, I regret what I did? I regretted many things. So if I were to make those mistakes am I really bad or just misunderstood? I wonder, what makes a person bad. Is it the intent or whats purely at mind and yet nobody knows whats my intention for things I do and what I am thinking about.

Nobody in this world see things in the same way, nobody look at things at my paradigm. Even with a paradigm shift, I am still what people perceive I am. No one else, shares my view and the view from the top is always silent and lonely. Looking down at myself now, I can only console myself that at least I know myself and is true to who I am.

Look at the bright side, there’s no where else to go but up when you’re at the bottom.

The view from below is always looking up, and I wish to get up. And I’ll start climbing up by getting some sleep now..

Anyways, If you think you know what I’m talking about. I can guarantee that you’re wrong. Don’t think too much like me, and go to bed. No one else can make sense of what I’m saying here except for myself.

Goodnight my friends.

Just like Romeo & Juliet, call them the most romantic couple ever or the stupidest fools ever lived.

As we were celebration OUR nation’s 51 years of independence, this bastard come up and give us a unwanted lesson on history by calling Malaysian Chinese as immigrants. Talk about seditious, this is sedition at the highest order!

I hope he rot in hell and I wonder how much he can twist and turn his stories around to make himself look innocent. I wonder why is he so powerful and even our rag doll PM does not have power to discipline him and also our murder suspect DPM who apologized on behalf of him got shot down.

Anyway, Ahmad Ismail should go back to school and know that the Malays are Immigrants themselves before creating such havoc. If there were aborigines, the only ones should be the orang asli.

I’m finally back from my hometown. It was a tiring trip but worth it.

I’ve uploaded some photos at http://www.malaysianphoto.com

Feel free to view it.

Here are some snapshots of places like Bidor, Teluk Intan, My home in Pangkor Island and Manjung and also a beautiful beach in Teluk Senangin, Perak.

Teluk Senangin 1

Teluk Senangin 2

Teluk Senangin 3

Pangkor Island 1

Pangkor Island 2

Pangkor Island 3

Bidor 1

Bidor 2

Visit http://www.malaysianphoto.com for more photos.

Been trying to get some sleep, but I just could not stop thinking bout things that happened in the past few months. 2008 has been an eventful year for me, filled with both good and bad experiences but most of the downside comes from relationships. It is indeed complex and I wish it could be as easy as it used to be, when things was simpler and easier for me to trust people.

What I usually do when I’m down is listening to songs and this one is just right for tonight.

How do you mend a broken heart by Journey South.

Lyrics:

When, you find someone who loves you
No matter what, you hold on tight but don’t let go
But it’s hard, it’s not always that simple
To move on
To make it work
‘Cause people change and hearts grow coldEvery night you sit and wonder whether you should dial her number
How? How do you mend a broken heart?
How do you fit the pieces back together?
I don’t know now
Tell me why? Why do we have to fall apart?
Just when we thought it was forever
I don’t know now, I don’t know nowIn time, you find the strength inside you
To move on but that’s easier said than done
Coz every day u spend without her
Makes the night seem so much longerHow? How do you mend a broken heart?
How do fit the pieces back together?
I don’t know now
Tell me why? Why do we have to fall apart?
Just when we thought it was forever
I don’t know now, I don’t know nowMemories won’t fade away, like photographs, locked inside your mind
When you feel you can’t go on, you realise, it only makes you stronger

How, how do you mend a broken heart
How do fit the pieces back together
I don’t know now

Tell me why? Why do we have to fall apart?
Just when we thought it was forever
I don’t know now, I don’t know now

Tell me how? How do you mend a broken heart?
How do you fit the pieces back together?
I don’t know now, I don’t know now